I’ve got that feeling again.

That feeling that something big is about to happen.  It happened in the weeks before I met my wife.  It happened again 6 months before I got full custody of my kids.  It happened again at the end of last year right before things with my books took off.  And it’s here again.  That feeling.

And something that I’ve learned is that writing and speaking things into existence is REAL.  I haven’t quite figured out if its solidifying what’s already done, or moving what isn’t done into a more done state… but I do know it’s real.

And there’s a particular phrase that starts to become my mantra:  I’m so ready.

And this one feels big.  They’ve all been big.  They’ve all been shifts that have helped to move us all towards better versions of ourselves, towards more freedom and safety, towards finding our true selves and our power.  And we’re all so ready.

So now the challenge is moving myself towards this shift without attachment to a particular outcome.  Because so much of what has happened that has ultimately helped us has NOT LOOKED LIKE HELP at the time.  It’s looked pretty horrible.  It’s stripped us of things.  Violated us.  Broken us down so much that I didn’t think I’d be able to recover.

But each time we do.  

And each time, I become less fuck-withable than before.  I don’t know if that’s because the universe keeps handing me exactly what I need to grow.  Or if I’m just becoming an absolute rockstar at taking any situation and turning it into a win.  

Though I really wish I could say that this journey gets easier (I’m so ready for that to be the case… wink wink), I am finding that I’m more able to let things go.  More able to see things for what they really are.  The PTSD has a shorter run time; my recovery time much quicker.  And I’m more able to be of service to others now that I’m solidly in a place of taking care of myself first. That’s huge. 

The wins are already there.  I just have to walk towards them.  Things usually feel like they’re absolutely falling apart on the way there…  and usually they are… because in order for things to be different, they have to be different.  Including me.  And this time I’m not focused on what I need to do to make it happen.  This time I’m realizing that what’s really important is focusing on what I want and living as though it’s already here.  The rest will unfold, and the more I’m taking good care of myself and remaining clear, the easier the process will be.

Imagine what your life could be with the space that’s currently filled with toxicity or excuses or heaviness, emptied out and was just clear and ready to receive good things.  Imagine what it would feel like to be able to move things forward the way you want, without feeling held back.  Imagine what that freedom would feel like.  Then sit in that for as long as you can muster. 

We find the helpers.

We are believed.

We get what we want.  

We’re so ready.